Thursday, February 19, 2009
Sometimes I compare myself to Crater lake. It's so blue and beautiful and there is plenty of life in it's waters, but there isn't a beach to play on. People who swim there have to want to swim the deep or stay floating in a boat on the surface. I'm kinda like that with my friendships. Floatys or scuba gear. There isn't very much room in me for splashing and sunbathing on the beach. I don't mean to be that way...just the way I was made. I have worked hard over the years trying to build beaches along my shores for surfacey relationships, and there is more places in me for that than there used to be, but I think those relationships are much more satisfying to my "kind-of" friends than they are to me. I always want to be allowed to really, really love someone, really commit and know that they'll commit back. I know that's rare, but I love the deep blue. I just do.